1) Don’t bury a ring in any type of dessert as part of a proposal. Desserts are irresistible and they can be scoffed in the blink of an eye. If you are not careful, your romantic night might end up with a trip to the A&E to retrieve the swallowed item.
2) Don’t get drunk and throw yourself at your crush. Love is a dish best served sober, or at least while both of you can still stand up. Added to that, your chances of romance will be greatly enhanced if your beloved is spared the experience of watching you throw up on their shoes.
3) Don’t deliver romantic messages via a third party. Haven`t you read Shakespeare?! Your message will almost certainly NOT be delivered to the object of your affections but to their much less appealing sibling. You will then have to spend an eternity explaining to your beloved why you’ve been sending declarations of love to their sibling.
4) Don’t get involved in a duel. We shouldn`t really have to say this, should we? If your love rival suggests battling it out, make sure that said battle takes place on social media or by a civilised exchange of emails. Do not, under any circumstances, agree to anything that takes place at dawn – especially if it involves pistols.
5) Don`t become involved in a love triangle. Triangles are bad. Period. Whether it be a love triangle or the Bermuda triangle, nothing good ever came from a three sided shape. A love triangle involves two people who are both competing for a third party, so they tend to be messy and emotionally complex.
The above advice is doubly true if the other people involved in the triangle include your best friend, brother or mother. Just don`t go there. A love triangle means three people sharing a meal made for two – which adds up to pretty small portions all around.
Valentine’s Day takes place on the 14th of February 2022.